Here I go… again.

My time spent in Porlezza, Italy with my friend HW and her husband was amazing.  Although we hadn’t seen each other in at least 13 years, we picked up as if we had only parted a few weeks ago.  Granted, we had much to catch up on, but it came with ease and comfort that not all friendships have.  I am so happy that I went to see her.  It was a fantastic visit. 

Now back in Copenhagen, I am utterly baffled by the fact that I depart in just a few hours.  When I changed my flight, it seemed so far away and now it’s here.  I am sad to go.  I really love Europe – I always have.  I know I’m not done here yet and that my return will be sooner rather than later but it’s hard all the same.

That said, I am eager to continue the life that I started in Montreal.  I am excited to get an apartment, a job and enroll in French classes.  I am giddy about seeing my friends…

Life is really hard sometimes and it’s amazing how many different directions that your heart can be pulled.

One of the most profound moments of my trip was when I met a group of travellers, each from a different place, on the night train from Ljubljana to Lugano.  We had sat up until the wee hours of the morning talking philosophically about life and how it is that we operate.  The defining part of the conversation (for me) was when the fellow from Slovenia said that we can’t allow our hearts to become slaves to our brains.  We need to think, feel and act through our hearts and our guts because our brains are too complicated and often lead us astray.  It’s the way that I have lived for some time now but the way that he worded it was incredible and has been a source of warmth when I’ve been down.

By living life this way, we sometimes can be led down dark paths where the next step always brings uncertainty… but it’s worth it.  I’ve said it before and I must say it again – I wouldn’t change a thing.

So, off I go.  I land in Chicago and will stay there for a night before hopping on a train to NY.  While in the Big Apple, I’m going to stay with my friend AV for a few days and then I’ll hop another train to return to Montreal and SB’s spare room… wow, what a wild ride it’s been.

Goodbye Europe… Hello North America!

xoxo

Loving Ljubljana

We (i.e. the Canadian girls and I) made it safe and sound to Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia, despite the mess that we encountered on the way there.  It was quite the trip from Venice because we first had to go north into Austria and then catch another train back down southeast… and that was just the start of it.

It got interesting when the train paused at the Slovenian border for what was supposed to be a short stop.  After waiting for quite some time, I started asking around to see if anyone spoke English.  The train guy had come and said something to us, but when he saw that we didn’t understand he just motioned to stay put.  I finally found a guy who told me that there was something wrong and that we would have to wait at least an hour.

After about 45 minutes, there was a flurry of voices and movement and the English-speaking guy informed me that they had to bring in buses for us.  We hopped the bus and dropped people of at a few other train stations before they emptied the bus at another train station where we were told that a train would be there shortly to take us to our destination.  My interpreter had found another route home, so he left there and we were stuck on a platform in the middle of nowhere not knowing what was happening.  There were a couple of other announcements that we didn’t understand, but we were able to find someone to let us know that our next train was also late.

Finally, over two hours after our original arrival time, we made it into Ljubljana, unscathed but starving.  I went off with JG, who had been waiting patiently while I sent her text messages letting her know what was happening, and the Ottawa girls were off to their hostel.

Catching up with JG and having her act as a hostess and tourguide has been such a gift.  She was so kind and generous that I can’t begin to thank her enough.  She is one of those friends that although we haven’t seen each other in years, we still hold a special bond.  It was really great to be able to see her again.

Ljubljana is an incredible city.  It is clean, scenic and relatively undamaged by hoards of tourists.  Although the tourism industry is starting to grow here, I hope it never grows to what it is in other cities – it’s too pretty here to ruin it like that.  Unlike most European cities, there is almost no garbage on the ground.  People stop at crosswalks and there are far less people begging.  There is a castle up on the hill in the center of the city and on the horizon, you can see mountains that look very similar to the Canadian Rockies.  The downtown area is absolutely breathtaking.  What a beautiful place.

This afternoon I said goodbye to the Canadian girls so they could head off to Croatia and other destinations.  I hope to see them again once we are all back home.  They really were a lot of fun and I enjoyed their company immensely.

In an hour, I will be saying goodbye to my dear friend, JG, when my night train departs.  I hope we can see each other again soon.

When my train reaches its final destination, I will be in Lugano, Switzerland.  I am going to visit a childhood friend from Rosetown, who works in Lugano but lives in Porlezza, Italy.  It has been years since I have seen her and we have much to catch up on.

As exhaustion sets in, I am making less sense so I will stop while I’m ahead and call it a night.

Lots of love to all!

The long-awaited update

Sorry folks, it’s been a busy week and I have had a hard time finding internet costs that aren’t verging on extortion.  I have a little while with free internet before catching my next train, so I wanted to update you a bit.

I arrived in Florence safe and sound, though I was in an exceptional amount of pain thanks to a pubcrawl that I went on my last night in Rome.  I rested for awhile, though I still felt awful and then had a bite to eat before relaxing in bed with a book.  While doing so, I was able to chat a bit with a couple of Canadian girls who were in the same dorm as me.  They seemed really nice and we were able to share a couple of travelling stories before retiring for the night.

Sadly when I awoke the next morning, I felt even worse and it had nothing to do with partying.  I still went out to do some sightseeing but took it at a very slow pace and then spent the evening in again.  I had been having hints of a cold in Rome but it seemed that the more time I spent in Florence, the sicker I got.  I managed to see all the sights including David, Duomo, the Birth of Venus, etc. but it was very difficult to really enjoy much of it because I felt off and was nursing a very sore throat for most of the time.  The bonus was that I really got along with the Canadian girls and we incidentally had nearly identical travel plans for the upcoming week.  We did some shopping, sightseeing and shared a lot of laughs.  It was really great.

The morning of the day that I was leaving for Venice, I awoke to find myself barely able to talk or swallow due to the pain and swelling in my throat.  I have had Strep throat several times in the past and realized instantly that I had far more than just a cold.  I was in the process of having my travel insurance documents printed when my Aussie dorm mate and I started chatting.  I jokingly asked if she knew of any good doctors in Italy and explained my predicament.  Oddly enough, she had developed bronchitis a few weeks earlier and had learned that for more minor infections that antibiotics are available over the counter in Italy… music to my ears.  When my papers were done printing, the hostel staff took one look at them, one look at me and told me not to worry about the cost… I must have looked terrible because although I loved the hostel – absolutely nothing there was free.

Immediately after, I found the pharmacy, explained my symptoms, and a few short minutes later was strolling down the street with the cure to my pain.  Relief was on its way and I didn’t even need my (free) insurance papers.

I arrived in Venice still feeling like someone had kicked me multiple times but knew that I just had a little further to go before I could relax.  I exited the train station to be completely awestruck by the sights in front of me.  There are simply no words or photographs that could ever do Venice justice.  You just have to see it to really understand.  The truth is that I actually teared up and had to force myself not to cry because I hated being in such a beautiful place when I was feeling so awful.

When I was able to collect and redirect my emotions, I hopped on the boat bus and made my way to my hotel… yup, hotel.  It was a classy one-star establishment where I forked out €35/night for a queen size bed and a private bathroom.  It was a cheap luxury after staying in bunk beds and never knowing if you were going to have hot water when you showered.  It was also an easy alternative when all the hostels in Venice looked very, very scary.

I had hoped to meet up with the Canadian girls when I arrived and refused to let my less-than-stellar health ruin my trip so I foraged ahead with our plans shortly after I had unloaded my backpack in my slightly sketchy accommodations.  We ended up munching on some amazing pasta, followed by tiramisu and then wandered around for a bit before heading back to our hotels for the night.

Over the next two days, we Canadians would make all of you proud by spending exhorbitent amounts of money on everything we could get our hands on.  I think that shopping was a side effect of my antibiotics because the better I felt, the more I purchased.  I barely entered a building unless there was something that I could buy or eat there… In fact, I did not visit one single museum or church (I think I had had my fill of those in Rome and Florence anyway).  We did, however, go on a gondola ride which was an important experience to have when in Venice and I highly recommend it.

Italy ended up being a great suprize to me.  I was not sure if I would like it because it seemed hyped-up beyond all reason.  I had actually always avoided going there so I wouldn’t conform to the masses.  The truth is that it is a wonderful place and now I understand why so many people have gone.  By far, my favourite sights were in Venice.  I could go on and on about how much I enjoyed it but the short of it is that I loved that city with everything in me and I look forward to going back again one day (maybe then I’ll go see something besides stores and restaurants).

Ciao Bella!

It’s official. I love Italy. Considering the fact that it was the country that I had no particular interest in going to other than it was warm, I think that this is a rather shocking turn of events.

Rome is absolutely beautiful. I’ve had the pleasure of visiting most of the big monuments and structures that have evaded time’s destruction and I’ve sampled some amazing food. I have also been fortunate enough to meet some amazing people in the hostel here, which has really helped my lonely-factor. Surprizingly enough, I am one of four Edmontonians here right now. It’s so nice to have people know what you’re talking about when you refer to home.

The only downside of my first few days in Italy was the massive thunderstorm that I encountered on my first full day here. My shoes are still damp from walking through ankle-deep water for two hours trying to navigate my way back to the hostel. I found it rather entertaining that the rain poured right down my jacket, leaving even my bum soaking wet. On return, I changed and got ready to go again as soon as the rain stopped but within minutes of going outside, it started all over again. This resulted in an evening in with new friends and lots of cheap wine. It wasn’t so bad afterall.

I’m off to Florence early tomorrow afternoon and then Venice from there. That’s about as planned as it gets at this point, but I’ll be sure to keep updating things as I go along.

Apologies for the brevity of this post but I opted to leave my laptop in Copenhagen and internet access can be pricey… so, I’m off for now, but thinking of all of you.

Lots o’ love xoxox

Diamond(s) in the rough

I don’t know what it is about clichés and feel-good quotes that I love so much but they strike in the strangest of ways.

I recently have started thinking about the word serendipity and how nicely in applies to my life.  The idea of this accidental discovery during the search for something else is what I have been following for as long as I can remember.  I haven’t come up with an accurate descriptor for what it is that I’m seeking right now but I sum it up with the word happiness.  All of the other things that I discover along the way are magical bonuses. 

The unfortunate part is that something as abstract as happiness can be difficult to attain when one can’t pinpoint what it is that makes them happy.  I always have a little voice in the back of my head saying, “Just follow your gut.  It will all work out the way it’s supposed to.”  It’s this little voice that has brought me this far and will continue to take me other places.  I have encountered many serendipitous moments along the way that I am often left awed by the seemingly chance opportunities that have come up through my wanderings.  These diamonds shine greater than can be described and I am so fortunate to have the experiences that I’ve had. 

Several years ago, I went on an exchange to the Netherlands for school.  I had always wanted to study abroad so when given the opportunity, I couldn’t pass it up.  While living one of my dreams, I met JG, an incredibly kind and loving woman from Slovenia.  She easily bonded with us Canadian girls and we fashioned a tight-knit group of friends for our time there.  When we were tearfully parting ways on our respective journeys home, I left JG with one of my favourite anonymous quotes:

Don’t cry because it’s over.  Smile because it happened.

JG and I have kept in touch over the years, even though our communication hasn’t been as regular as we both may have wanted.  Our lives have continued on but we still have an incredible friendship that has proven itself to be one of the many gems that I have come across during my travels.  She has been following my adventures thus far and was kind enough to remind me of this little saying when she knew that I was down.  It made me smile and feel warm… just what it was supposed to do.  I am so grateful and touched that she remembered these words.

I am now preparing to embark on another journey.  I am off to Italy for over two weeks all alone.  I’ve never really travelled alone before.  I spent a week in Montreal, but I already knew a few people and I had two days in London, but I’d been there before and spoke the language.  This time, I’m really doing it by myself.  I hope to meet up with a couple of friends (JG being one of them) but I’m trying to wrap my head around being gregarious enough to meet other travellers… I know I can do it but for some reason I’m completely terrified.

One of the things that I knew I wanted to learn when I set out in September was that being alone is okay.  I’ve wanted to get to know me (and only me) for a long time.  I think that being friends with oneself is the most valuable relationship that any of us could hope to develop however, many of us forget to do so.  How sad… yet now, with it looming over me, I just want to hide.  I am scared that I will isolate myself or worse yet, discover that I don’t really like the me that I am.  I don’t really see either of these things happening but if there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s that there is such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Now I just have to prevent this from happening.

When I first ended my engagement, I wrote… a lot.  I focused largely on my journal but also dabbled in poetry.  One of the poems that I wrote goes like this… 

My life was nothing

Until I stumbled haphazardly

Into a world unknown

It left me inspired

 

The sledgehammer came down

Shattered everything I thought I knew

So I linked arms

With my sought-after freedom

And I walked away

 

My heart bleeds desire for something

Though my mind wants nothing at all

The icy grip of loneliness

Sends shockwaves through my soul

But I’m happy

 

The solitude is frightening

Empowering

Comforting

Necessary

I now see the value of this more than ever.  I can jump into this solitude because I know that along the road to self-discovery and happiness, I will encounter so many other diamonds that I will continue to be one of the richest people I know.  My wealth of experiences and dedicated friends/family, with assistance from my gut instinct have brought me a long way… not just geographically speaking, but also emotionally.  It will be a hard road but also a good one.

In many senses, my life is one fantastic spectacle of a cliché right now.  Girl meets boy, they fall in love and plan to get married.  Girl realizes it’s not good so she runs as fast as she can.  Girl parties too much, gets into some (amazing) trouble with a sidekick (love you, W!)… then girl meets new boy, falls in love and this time – gets dumped on her ass.  Girl must run again, seeking out freedom and joy alone where she relishes every second of her life, eats way too much chocolate and eventually falls in love with the man of her dreams (finally!) before settling down, having 1.25 children, a house with a white picket fence and a dog named Chuck… okay, so I made that last part up, but surely you get my point.

Am I doing what most people expected of me?  Probably.  Does anyone really know what will happen next?  Probably not… but if, just if, someone does actually know – can they please fill me in?  You know I won’t listen anyway.  It’ll just give you more leverage when you say, “I told you so” later… sigh.

Oh and by the way… If you think this is scattered, you should see the unedited version that happens in my brain before my fingers so much as even touch the keyboard.

Rainbows and Daggers… to the gates of hell and back.

Love you all

s

Ye Olde London Town

I am now back in Copenhagen after spending four days in London.  The city is much like I remember it from when I was there way back in 1997.  It’s a very busy place with hoards of people and overpriced everything but it’s nice to visit all the same.

E had to go there for work and we planned a long time ago that I would go along and entertain myself while he was at his conference, so we continued on with our plans and I’m very glad that we did.  Our friendship remains strong as ever and we seem to make very good travelling companions.

I was able to go to Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace, the Tower of London, London Bridge, Westminster Abbey, etc.  I didn’t take as many pictures as I probably should have but the weather was rather dreary and I had already seen these things, so it didn’t seem as necessary.  I ate fish and chips as well as the standard big English breakfast but I understand now, more than ever, why the Brits aren’t really known for their cuisine.  There’s nothing very spectacular about it.

My second night there, I was able to reconnect with a friend that I had made on my first trip to Montreal.  B is an Aussie that has relocated to London for work.  He and I hit it off in Montreal so it was really nice to get to see him again.  Sadly, he was away for my remaining time in London, but I’m sure we’ll meet again one day.

One of the highlights of the trip was the Camden Town Market.  Although E and I were both completely pooped from our busy week, we ventured to this alternative shopping district for our last afternoon in London.

The market is a haven for punks, hippies, goths and ravers.  If what one enjoys strays from the norm, it will surely be found at this location.  In the shops one can find anything from spikes and vinyl to hemp and patchouli.  There are vendors selling furniture, clothing, accessories, music, food, makeup, piercings and tattoos.  We even passed by a fellow who wove in and out of the crowds asking “Skunk?” but I haven’t yet figured out if he was buying or selling, and I don’t really care… not my cup of tea.  The music is loud and the crowds are enormous but it is a part of London that should not be missed. 

I’ve got a couple of days to relax and do laundry before departing for Rome on Wednesday.  I will be spending at least four days there before heading out to explore more of Italy.  I am planning to meet up with a couple of friends (who I haven’t seen in years) while I’m there and I couldn’t be more excited.  My only agenda is to have fun… otherwise, I have no idea what lies ahead.

A fortune worth keeping

Last year only, a few months after having ended my engagement, I left for Texas to visit one of my closest and dearest friends, JB.  While I was there, I was nursing a lot of loneliness and fear that accompanied my newly-found single lifestyle.  She took amazing care of me and we had an incredible time catching up, partying (oi, Austin will never be the same) and shopping.

One evening, we went out for supper to an Asian infusion restaurant in Houston and I opened up my fortune cookie to read: 

The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more.

At the time, I wasn’t entirely certain of its meaning but for some reason I was compelled to hold onto it.  On my return home to Edmonton, I tucked in the frame of my mirror where I could read it every day as I was getting ready for work.  I guess it reminded me to be really grateful for everything I had and to not be lost in greed.

Fast forward nearly a year.  As I was packing up my cramped little room to head out to Montreal, I came across this fortune and although I loved it, I threw it out knowing that I simply could not hold on to so many things.  Reading it one last time before discarding it brought back many memories of moments that it had given me strength and I was filled with gratitude for that tiny little message that was so near and dear to my heart.

The next week, I flew down to Houston to see JB again for one last visit before my departure to Quebec.  This time we terrorized San Antonio but with significantly less booze.  Because I was moving, we weren’t sure when we would get to see each other again, so the visit was necessary and welcome.  When back in Houston, we returned to the same Asian infusion restaurant and stuffed ourselves silly with amazing food.  At the end of our meal, we cracked open our fortune cookies and I read: 

The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more.

Now I know that there’s only so many fortunes out there and that every now and again there might be a repeat but the shock that set in at that moment was unparalleled by anything that I can distinctly remember.  I felt warm both inside and out, knowing that I was not finished with whatever this fortune had in store for me.  I’ve carried it in my wallet ever since.  I cannot let it go.

Now I sit in Copenhagen with all of my stuff packed and I think about that fortune and its relevance in my current situation.  E and I tried to forage a relationship from a brief summer romance and that I do not regret, but it makes me wonder if we should have heeded the warning or where we would be right now if we had.  It sounds so cheesy but it really makes me think about what it is that we gave up in an attempt to get more. 

I would do it again in a second… I wouldn’t change a thing… but I also wonder what other lessons I may learn from my silly little fortune.

Love makes the world go ’round, no matter who it comes from

It was only a couple of short weeks ago that I wrote this:

I have very carefully chosen not to regret anything.  This includes all of the moments where I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on.  These situations have helped me to find strength and the people who have stomped on my heart taught me so much about resiliency.  These times have also provided me with the knowledge that I am loved by others.  I have had so many people pick me up when I’ve been down that I can’t begin to name them all or thank them enough. 

The people who hold our hands, as we walk through the rubble of our emotional selves during times of crisis, are those who we cannot let go of.

It has held true in the last few days and I just wanted to send out a big thanks to everyone for their support, kind words and love sent from thousands of miles away.  Even though the distance is far, I feel you all here with me.

E has now seen me in a state that he never has before.  Few people have.  The good news is that despite the difficulties that exist while sharing this space together before I depart, he continues to care for me, to make sure I’m eating, sleeping and making some efforts to take care of myself.  I want to really reinforce that he is not a bad person and does not deserve hate, he just had to be honest with both of us and sometimes honesty hurts.  It’s okay.

Regardless of the status of the relationship that we have, he is still a caring person who wants nothing more than to see me happy.  It’s a powerful bond that we’ve always had and it was one of the main things that attracted us to each other.  It’s why, although we will never have the same relationship again, will remain friends in some capacity yet to be determined.  I’m certain that we won’t talk every day like we used to but we have had a profound influence on each other’s lives.  It won’t be easy to let go for either one of us.

As much as many people have stated that he will one day have regrets about all of this, please know that I do not want that for him.  I want him to carry on without regret and to seek out what it is in life that does make him happy, even if it means a life that does not include me.  He has had a rough year as well and I think that we’ve both been through enough that we each need to move on and re-establish who we are as individuals before we can really know ourselves as anything else.

One of my favourite pieces of advice that I have received about all of this came from a friend that I travelled with many years ago.  She got it from her sister-in-law regarding childbirth but she’s been able to apply it to many parts of her life and so she passed it on to me in hope that I could do the same.  She said, “It’s hard, it hurts, but you can do it.”  How true.

It looks like I’m off to London tomorrow for a few days and then I hope to head to Italy early next week.  I have much arranging to do regarding flights, hostels, etc. but I imagine I’ll be back in Montreal by early December.  I guess we’ll find out soon enough. 

Take care and thanks again.  You all mean so much to me that I cannot accurately express it.

Sometimes things are too good to be true

As much as I would love to, I can’t conceal my heartache.

All I ever wanted was to find happiness and though I thought I had, I was very wrong.  It seems that E didn’t have the same capacity for feelings for me as I did for him. 

At first I was going to give some half-assed version of what went down but it’s time to be honest… really honest.  The truth is that although E was the one to suggest my move to Europe, he wasn’t able to uphold our relationship once I arrived.  The first part was great… it just went downhill from there.

He’s not a bad person and does not deserve hate but instead pity because his feelings and his heart deceived him as much as they did me.  We both thought it was real.  We both thought we had found what so many people spend their whole lives seeking.  Apparently, we were both wrong.

Obviously, this is the extremely short version of how it happened because let’s be serious – this is me we’re talking about.  Nothing ever is done this quickly.  It actually got drawn out over a couple of days.  He can tell me over and over again, it still doesn’t make sense – I doubt it ever will.  It’s one of those scenarios that unless you live it, you will never be able to understand.  I accept that.  I’ve been there too.

The good news is that this has given me new drive to return to Montreal to pursue my dreams of becoming a Journalist.  I’m going to fart around Europe for a bit and just be me but I imagine that my return to Canada will be sooner rather than later.

I’m not okay right now.  I hurt… a lot – but it will pass in time.  I will be okay soon enough. 

Until then, I will continue on as I wish.  Europe is supposed to be a party, right?  I’m going to make this one hell of a trip because as Len says in his cheesy pop song “I know it’s up for me, If you steal my sunshine,” so I can’t let that happen now can I?

Realizations have begun

It’s been a funny couple of weeks for me.

Although the transition to Copenhagen has been a good one, it’s had its disadvantages too.  The nice part of being in Montreal is that I had begun to develop a bit of a social circle, whereas now I’ve had to start over again.  I haven’t really had or given myself many opportunities to meet people from my age group and areas of interest but this will happen in time.  E has a few work acquaintances and although I’m sure they are very nice, I don’t think they are really the kind of people that he and I would kick back for drinks and a night out on the town with.  I think that once I’ve found work, things will roll along much more smoothly but for now, my life is rather quiet.

E and I went out a couple of times to see bands play.  The most recent night out was to see Calexico, an American band that plays a unique mariachi/rock combination.  I couldn’t stop giggling when the lead vocalist commented on how fashionable everyone in the crowd was with all of their scarves.  It seemed to me that coming to Canada and commenting on how fashionable everyone was in their hoodies and baseball caps would be an accurate comparison.  I wouldn’t necessarily call it fashionable but rather something like a uniform.

This city is certainly beautiful but it also has a tendency to become incredibly dreary with its numerous rainy days.  I was feeling a little down today with E having left for The Hague for a work meeting and having absolutely nothing to do.  I’ve been tearing through all of my books that I brought and I’ve even started on E’s but when my eyes start to go funny, I need to find something else to do.  The sky was grey as ever and it took everything in me to pull myself off the couch to go for a walk.  I knew I needed to get some cash, so off to the atm I went.

A funny thing happened when I got to the bank though.  After I was all done and would have normally turned left to go home, I had an urge to turn right and just keep going.  I kind of felt like Forrest Gump except I didn’t run and it wasn’t days but merely a couple of hours.  I strolled down to the water’s edge and as I was laughing at all the geese primping their feathers on a sunken paddle boat (the water is less than 2 feet deep), I looked up to see all of the side-by-side multi-coloured buildings lining the canal.  I was suddenly very awestruck and it dawned on me – I’m living in Europe.  Shocking revelation, I know, but it finally hit me and in a good way. 

As long as I can remember, I’ve had this fairytale fantasy in my head where I fall in love and move to Europe.  Guess what?  I did it.  I know, yet another shocking revelation but I need to have these every now and again to keep myself in reality.  I am badly in need of a career and furthering of my education but otherwise, I don’t think it can get much better than this.  I’m living my dream.  How great is that?

I finished the remainder of my walk with a spring in my step despite the rain and the smell of pigeon poop that becomes so apparent with the continuous moisture in these parts. 

Now I’m back to my warm couch with cold pizza and beer in my belly and smutty American TV reruns…  Wow, I need a job… or visitors – that would be even better!  Regardless, life is good.  Very, very good.