Hello? Is anyone home?

I’ve been getting some funny messages lately.  And not funny as in “haha.”

I’m all too aware that Facebook is a large part of my life and my society but I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from it and the response from my friends list has been sweet and touching.  It seems that when I take a break from our favorite online social network, people start to think that there’s something wrong.

I guess the irony of the situation is that in some regards, there is something wrong… but not with me.

Over the last year, I’ve become increasingly disenchanted with my online life.  I always knew that by creating an online profile I had eradicated much of my privacy and would learn things about the personal lives of others but I didn’t recognize the powerful negative influence that these things could achieve.

From the beginning, I was painfully aware of status updates which were written just for the sake of writing something.  I swore I would not write anything overly mundane or obvious such as “Shauna is at home” or “Shauna has socks on.”

As time continued on, there were also horrid grammatical errors which made my skin crawl but I could deal with those too (two, to).

Now my biggest beefs are those which state the obvious or overly announced…  MJ is dead! (ok, fine).  GO OIL/RIDERS/JAYS/OTHER FAVE SPORTS TEAM! (meh).  It’s snowing!  (No shit, I can see out the window).  Or… x% of the world is affected by ___.  If you support ___ copy and paste this rather than saying something original and/or donating money to this cause (I’m left-wing and support just about everything except intolerance and hypocrisy but I really dislike these – sorry!!).

I know I sound like a jerk but these are things which all combined have been eating at me.  I’ve even gotten in moods where the worst offenders of the day get removed from my friend list.  Sad, eh?

But it’s just the beginning.

In the past if we wanted to kvetch about work, we did it.  We always had to be careful what we said to whom but we could go off if need be.  Now we can’t.  I know.  I’ve gotten my wrist slapped for it.  Granted in this instance, I was at fault and shouldn’t have written what I wrote… but I was upset and vented a little too openly.  I didn’t post pictures or give names or do anything overly taboo but I overstepped my bounds and I recognize the error of my ways.

I’ve never been too cautious about who I accepted as friends but as time goes on, I am leery of not only who my friends are online but also in person.  It’s not that I dislike or distrust the people who I work with, it’s that there are elements to my life which I want to keep private from my professional life and vice versa.  If I want to whine about my job, I want to do so without fear of it travelling down the grapevine to my superiors or to other eyes/ears which have no business knowing.  I am also aware that with today’s privacy laws, I am legally not allowed to whine with any amount of detail other than “I had a rough day” for fear of losing my job and/or facing a lawsuit.  I have become blatantly aware that I can get along with my coworkers and have them in my life without having them *in* my life.  I’ve drawn a line out of necessity… FB taught me that I need to keep these worlds separate.  Bizarre.

Because it continues on.

Have you seen the new “See Friendship” link?  It’s completely taken the work out of cyber-stalking by presenting all information (i.e. wall posts, pictures, events, etc.) between two friends… or non-friends, depending on their privacy settings. Creepy.

And the privacy settings.  Remember to update yours frequently because they set to default each time FB updates them.  This leaves you very vulnerable to prying eyes.

And on.

How about those people who must include profanities in every aspect of their profile.  Or talk about their drug use.  Or include “Getting wasted” as one of their favorite activities.

I have a mouth like a trucker and a liver the size of your head but that doesn’t mean it should be the sole focus of everything on my profile (Note that I have removed some pictures which would indicate otherwise… haha).  My rule has always been that if I wouldn’t want my Mom to see it, then I won’t put it on anyone’s profile.  I highly recommend using this guideline.

While I’m on interests, I also need to mention my firm dislike of all those bloody things which FB users can “like.” I really don’t think it’s necessary to give a thumbs up for “Steak and a blowjob day” or anything else which is equally irrelevant.  Support your friends, support a cause, support the arts or support yourself but on occasion, it’s okay to support not clicking a link just for the sake of clicking.

Furthermore, did you know that if you’ve clicked “like” on a sponsored page, that I can see you’ve liked it when I (or anyone else depending on your privacy settings) go to said page?  These links are smearing your information all over the internet.  Arg.

Oh wait there’s more.

It seems that some people only ever use FB to complain about how horrible things are.  Certainly there must be some silver lining or an entertaining way to view misfortune from time to time.  Yes?

I’ve had friends argue through their status updates rather than talking about their issues. Or keeping their opinions to themselves.  Or walking away.

I have found out about the deaths of old friends on FB.  And engagements or weddings.  And babies.  And relationships or the demise of said relationships.  Shouldn’t I find out about at least some of these things in person.  Or via phone.  Or good old-fashioned gossip?

And don’t get me started on FB chat.  I haven’t gone on there since a married man friend of mine tried to online sex me up while his wife was at work.

Le sigh.

The questions which remain are these:  What now?  Do I need to remove my all of my friends and start over on a highly exclusive basis?  Should I reset all of my privacy settings (again)?  Should I create two separate profiles (one personal, one for everyone else)?  Do I continue to shut my yap out of fear?

I know I’ve committed a lot of atrocities via FB, primarily smearing my personal life all over it, but I’ve also learned some tough lessons through doing so.  I’ve put the brakes on and learned caution in what I post but now I’m not sure how do I regroup and reformulate my relationship with my online buddies.  I’ve had the honor of reconnecting with long-lost friends.  Some I’ve even had the opportunity to visit in person.  I suppose that I ultimately fear losing future chances of reuniting with people from my past if I’m too particular now.  I’ll figure it out, this I know.  Until then, I’ll continue on with less frequent updates and photo changes but I’ll still be around, not to worry.

And the irony of me posting this blog entry to my profile is not lost on me.

Peace out.