I am 30 years old. There, I said it. I still can’t decide whether this is a good thing, an age where I’ve finally ‘matured’ into the adult who I want to be, or a bad thing, an age where I’ve reached a chronological milestone which exemplifies the death of my youth. I suppose that either way, it is what it is and there’s nothing that I can do about it.
I have been battling fears about turning 30 for the last year (plus). Although I know I’m still young and I have a lot of time, I fear the cease-function of my reproductive system and my lack of direction in career. I fear the internal need to meet (presumed) expectations and my inability to commit to a life path.
What I am excited about is opportunity. My 20′s were chaotic and traumatic. I look forward to happiness and peace; to stability and control; to all the things which I felt I lacked over the last decade. More than anything, I am eager to continue my 30′s with the new zest for life which was all but unknown to me until the last couple of years.
With this all said, the first month of my thirtieth year has exceeded expectations thus far. I was able to venture out West to see my loved ones and meet my nephew, who was born during my stay. I returned to a job which I adore and a special someone whose presence in my life is recent, wonderful and a complete surprise.
I feel strong, happy and fulfilled. I don’t think life can get much better than this, regardless of age.
Oh and I can’t forget the most important thing – My ovaries did not spontaneously implode. I guess 30 isn’t so bad after all.
xo
Yes having a baby in your 30′s is a little nerve racking – but isn’t nice to know that you can? Many of us have felt your fear – you’re not alone.